thoughts before drowning (2020)

General Information

Text: thoughts Before drowning by Baylina Pu (2020)
Commissioner: The Long Beach Opera, with generous support from Robert Braun and Joan Friedman
Written: September – October, 2020
Duration: ca. 4.5’
Instrumentation: soprano + pf

Perusal Score

~ This score below is intended for perusal purposes only, and may not be used for performance. To obtain performance materials, please click here. Thank you! ~

Performance History

November 15, 2020: Jennifer Lindsay (soprano) and Stephen Karr (piano) on the Long Beach Opera’s 2020 Songbook (Virtual Premiere)
April 9, 2022: Lena Goldstein (soprano) and Ben Beckman (piano) on Lena Goldstein’s Junior Recital, Yale University, New Haven, CT (Live Premiere)

Program Note

Text

thoughts Before drowning
by Baylina Pu

It doesn’t hurt when you phrase it like this:
last spring, I learned how to speak in a way
that would make ice melt. We invented
a language together,

gave names to all the incarnations of the sky
until we ran out of colors. Afterwards,
I asked if you remembered what it felt like
to decay. You said it was nothing special.
You ask if I write to anyone in particular in my poems.
I do not answer. The sky does not write
to anyone in particular. When the water rose,

it brought all our forgotten words with it.
And you were right: it was simple and painless,
a warm death. The echoes of our old names
surrounded us as we submerged,
and I saw the sun rise above us, thinking
how I’ll miss this, how despite everything

I still linger among what is human. Even
this planet personifies into a mother,
the water carrying me like a womb.
I ask myself how many other things
have I allowed to seep through me, and
how long will it take to wring out each one.

a note from the librettist:
Water is a concept that often finds its way into my work, and in this piece it manifests through an action of enveloping. In keeping with this movement, this poem looks at death as a feeling of slow immersion, a calm and familiar slipping away. There's a kind of comparison between how the world looks from underwater and how life looks from the perspective of death.

As I wrote, I found myself examining the question of how we absorb life and what kinds of things we choose to take in, and how we might choose to give back with the limited time we have.

a note from the composer:
To me, Baylina Pu's text thoughts Before drowning is an elegy for our planet that deals directly with humankind's past inaction to prevent the onset of climate change and global warming. It tells of an 'I' and a 'you', both metaphorically representing our species as a whole, who build great and beautiful things - who 'gave names to all the incarnations of the sky' - before the waters rise and bring a 'warm death'. Despite the onset of destruction, as humans, we here will still 'miss this', we will continue to 'linger among what is human'. And through all of this, we are still unconcerned with how our actions affect other species, our planet, and each other: we are in denial. When 'you ask if I write to anyone in particular in my poems', the only way we can answer is by refusing to give one without the pain being unbearable.

The music was written to reflect and help further convey the deep emotional force that the text imparts. With imagery referencing water - ice melting, sea levels rising - being a strong motif throughout the poem, I imagine that much of the accompanimental figures in the piano reflect water flowing, from the trickling of snowmelt beginning in m. 3 to large, 'oceanic' patterns (in direct reference to Chopin's Etude Op. 25, No. 12) beginning in m. 47. The vocal line was written to clearly convey the text, mostly syllabically, placing special attention on particularly important or emotional words or phrases with the use of melisma.

I am incredibly grateful to the Long Beach Opera for the opportunity to bring this piece to life, to Robert Braun and Joan Friedman for their support of this piece and the LBO, to Hannah Waldman, Stephen Karr, and Jennifer Rivera for managing so many logistics, to Du Yun and David Lang, to Baylina, for her creation of such a striking poem, and to Jennifer Lindsay and Stephen for their commitment to this work's premiere.

Press

“Benjamin Beckman's thoughts before drowning is a eulogy for the land, plants and animals that have disappeared because of global warming. Soprano Jennifer Lindsay and pianist Stephen Karr performed it exquisitely. thoughts before drowning is a song that an artist could use in a recital tomorrow and I hope someone programs it soon.” - Broadway World

"Long Beach Opera Commissions New Works From Emerging Composers Amid Pandemic: LONG BEACH, Calif. — In lieu of their normal fall opening gala dinner, Long Beach Opera asked subscribers and donors to commission some new musical pieces for their “un-gala” opening concert. Ben Beckman is one of 20 composers commissioned to write an original art song expressing his feelings about the events of 2020. Beckman wrote thoughts before drowning, which is based on a text by poet Baylina Pu, for voice and piano. ‘It's in response to climate change, but not in the traditional sort of call-to-action sense,’ said Beckman. ‘It's really a eulogy for all that has not been done to combat the onset of climate change and global warming.’ Beckman explained that it's difficult to describe the process of taking an idea like climate change and creating a work of art. ‘Our job as composers is to sort of translate emotional content from one media to music,’ he said. Like many artists in the age of COVID-19, Beckman said he found himself pushing the boundaries of what he could do, which led him to create a music video as a vehicle for presenting his song. ‘A lot of [artists] have really expanded outside of our norms and our traditional modus operandi into thinking of ways that we can bring our arts forward some ways,’ said Beckman… At a time when live performance is on hold, and many artists are struggling, Beckman says he is inspired that artists are continuing to create. ‘At least the art that we're creating is really unique, I think, to this time,’ he said. ‘And a lot of people have stepped forward and are forced to step forward in ways that we wouldn't have otherwise.’” - Spectrum News 1 Los Angeles